I love Hebrews 11. It's so inspiring. I'd always loved hearing the chapter as a whole-complete with examples of people who had faith in God and accomplished great things for Him.
While I was in Honduras I was really drawn to verses 13-16, which read:
"13These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. 14For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. 15If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. 16But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city." (ESV)
These verses jumped out at me one day as I was reading my Bible. During that time I had been feeling as if I should make a move to return to Honduras for another year, or possibly join WGM permanently. I took these verses as a promise for me and as a sign that I was called back to Honduras the following year, and I began the process of applying to come back.
A few months later I was told that the mission would accept me as a volunteer for another year, but really wanted me as a missionary. Something told me that I wasn't ready to make a full commitment to the mission yet, but I went ahead with my plans to live in Honduras for another year (after which time I figured that God would want me to go to a Bible college and return to Honduras as a full-fledged WGM missionary).
As time continued I found that I felt blocked from taking further steps towards even another year in Honduras. I wasn't blocked by anything...concrete (for lack of a better word.) The block I felt was all spiritual. When I went to write my support letters I couldn't. I didn't know why, but I just couldn't put a descent sentence together. I still loved the school and believed passionately in what they are doing, but I couldn't find the words to tell about it or talk about my ministry there. In addition to this I was finding it harder emotionally to be the only single female around in the evenings. Don't get my wrong, I had friends and I was plenty busy, but there was a part of me that longed to know what it was like to be a single, working female in the States.
So...I returned to the States at the time I was supposed to originally. I got a job teaching English to international students. I lived with a couple of girls my age. I officially joined my church. And within a few months God shuck my world again and changed my plans. I had thought that I might return to the mission field, but I was picturing that happening in a year or two.
The first thing that happened is that my boss asked me to get a certification in TESOL. Not a bad thing to get, but I was already very busy with the job and it's no small thing to get (ok, well, it's THAT big either, but it's hard to do when you barely have one free hour a day). This would be paid for the by the school if I stayed for a full year. I started to wonder if missions could wait that long.
Then, my living situation fell through. I had been living with 2 other girls in a rental house and I hadn't signed a lease because I wasn't sure how long I would be living there and the landlord had reassured me that he was fine with my living there. Then, without warning the landlord changed his mind. I had a month to figure out my future. After many tears and prayers I had my answer from God: it was time for me get the training that will help me on the mission field.
After that I had to decide on colleges, which was no small task either. However, I felt in my heart from the first time I heard about it that it was the place for me.
So, what does all of this have to do the verses?
It's the beginning of the amazing faith journey that God has for me. When I realized that I wasn't supposed to return to Honduras (at least not yet) I was crushed and I wondered why the verses had leaped off the page at me. Was it just wishful thinking?
No, it was my call. I had just read into it what I wanted.
So, what is the deeper meaning of the verses?
Abraham's journey. Abraham set forth on a journey to a promised land not knowing where he was going. He also was told that he would be a father to a great nation, but he and his wife were old and didn't have any children. Later, Abraham is asked to sacrifice his only legitimate son, Isaac. This comes in a list of the Patriarchs and examples of the faith they had.
We are to listen to the voice of God. if He calls us to do something, we are to listen. God not only wants to bless us, but He wants to bless the nations of the world through us. He will never ask us to do anything beyond our ability. Some of the things that He asks may seem as if they are beyond our ability, but if He gives the calling, He will also give the ability (be it strength, time, finances...). We may have to make some sacrifices though. We may be asked to leave our comfort zones (be that our neighborhoods or our countries). We may be asked to do things that take a hit to us financially. We may be asked to witness to family and friends who will not appreciate it.
Our calling may not be something that we wrestle with, but look at the reward in verse 16 "But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city."
I pray that I can have the faith I need to fulfill my purpose in Christ.
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